Friday, April 8, 2011

The Blonde Girl's Guide to: Fighting Fear

Okay, so it's been a year. A lot's changed since my last blog, so hopefully, this is a great update for everyone. There's a lot in this world to be afraid of. Spiders and sharks come to mind, as well as the creepy feeling I get when I'm in the back bedroom of my parent's house. I never thought, though, that a new job would ever cause me this much fear. I'm going to be a soldier in the United States Army. With the news flashes about the war in the middle east, POW flags flying, and the unsolicited comments from a few people who've heard about my choice, it's easy to get spooked. There's always a chance that I could end up in some tiny town in the middle of nowhere with a job that I absolutely hate. There's the chance that I could be wasting my time and come home in 20 years no different of a person than when I left and no closer to any of my dreams. There's the chance that I could be injured, raped, taken prisoner, maimed, or even killed. Yes.....I'm scared. But I'm still going to do it. The number one question that I get asked when people hear that I've decided to join the service is "Why"? Why would I want to give up my life to serve a country in such disarray? Why would I want to take orders, get yelled out, and surrender my constitutional rights for an average paying, very unglamorous, possibly hazardous career. Here are a few answers: 1) "I don't wanna die for you, but if dyin's asked of me, I'll bear that cross with honor 'cause freedom don't come free" - Toby Keith 2) Can you see me as a Nobel Peace Prize winner? The next Mother Theresa? President? Ha ha, I didn't think so. But I do want to be a part of something bigger than just being a wife and a parent. Those goals will come too, but I need to leave more than just a DNA trace of myself behind. This is a job that I can look back on and be proud of. 3) The hospitality industry is shallow, two-faced, and viciously unrelated to it's workforce. In some jobs (Westin) I had people I could trust. In other positions, I didn't. I want to be a part of a team where I know that my comrades and my boss have my back. I want to know that I can count on the policies and rules set forth to be upheld consistently and not just when it suits my manager. I want to work somewhere where I know that my compulsive nature/attention to detail is appreciated and not seen as a burden. 4) It may not be a glamorous life, but I'll never get laid off again. There are so many more reasons for me. I get to travel and see places and things I'd never otherwise see. I can have just enough structure in my life and still get a little adventure. I can be proud of what I do. I can learn new skills and bring my skills to the table. I can let my rank/experience do the talking and not have to re-sell myself to everyone each time I report for duty. I'll be able to provide for myself and my family for the rest of my life. So yes, I'm scared. Can I make it through boot camp? Will I cry? Will I get hurt? Maybe. No one knows. But no one could ever know if I didn't do it and I know I'd regret it if I never tried.

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