Have you ever watched a Beauty Queen smile at the very end of the pageant? I'm not talking about the chick that wins. I mean all the girls standing behind her, clapping politely and shifting their weight from one foot to the other. The look on their faces is one that is meant to support but that really wishes they could go drown their sorrows in the plate-full of simple carbohydrates they've been denied for the 6 months leading up to the pageant.
I'm here to exalt the Beauty Queen smile. Not because I think we need to be fake with one another, but because we need to live in each others shoes for a while. I've had some rough situations with people I love lately because they don't realize how hurtful they're being. It's somewhat my fault in that I try to make people think I'm tougher than I actually end up being, but it's not enough to pass the buck. it would be fantastic if my peers think about how they would feel if they heard any of the following:
* God, this sucks that you're so tan. I used to be the tan one.
* You're going to run in a half marathon? Do you even know how far that is?
* I don't believe that you won't drink with me. It can't be because of your stupid diet! You eat like crap, so it's not like this will make a difference!
The people that said these things may not know how much what they said hurt (although I know one does and he's already apologized profusely! Apology accepted and appreciated). I'm also not trying to complain about being bullied either. This is just a notice about how much criticism, or even practical advice can be really rude and mean when you hear from the other side of the table. I like to think that I'm a tough cookie, but I've cried more this month than I have since I was a little kid and got picked on on the play ground. So to all of you out there who haven't figured it out yet.....wake up!
When someone tells you of a fanciful idea that you think they'll never be able to accomplish, wish them good luck and ask if you can tag along or wear a t-shirt at the finish line. If someone has a goal that gets in the way of your plans or your own insecurities, then offer to be a buddy for their goal so that you can reap the rewards too. Basically, be a back up beauty queen for your friends and family. In the end, we're still all going to be really pretty. :)