Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Blonde Girl's Guide to: Standing Gracefully with Skinned Knees

I'm a fighter. Not in the pick-a-bar-fight-just-because or even the provokes-others-for-arguments-sake way. I'm sitting here listening to OneRepublic's "All Fall Down" and it hit me like a ton of bricks how many times I've tried to do something and failed. Sometimes I fall just a little bit short. Sometimes I miss the target entirely. One day, though, I plan on coming around the corner, likely a little bruised and broken, but running head first with heart and spirit ablaze towards the milestones that I've chased since childhood.

Since I was little I've known that there's nothing more valuable than believing in myself. Through all the teasing from the other kids in school, through dealing with unhealthy relationships, to the occasional fight with family, I can always count on me. To others, it may seem like ill-placed faith or unrealistic expectations. We're trained to be totally co-dependant on the people we know. Having healthy relationships with people who love you is great. I have to say that I wouldn't be where I am in life if it weren't for my parents and sister. But when I'm all by myself, buried in work or dealing with a big decision, I need to know that I can count on ME to pull through.

The biggest goals should never scare you. They are the things that push us through all the little bits of crap that life throws at us. What will push you through the little obstacles if you don't have your big dreams behind you? Know that you are never the circumstancial outcome of fate, but the catalyst that propels you through your own life and it's challenges.

There has been many a diet that's been messed up on. How embarrassing is it that I had to move BACK in with my folks after only 6 months of moving out on my own? Still, there's no being jaded, being bitter, or giving up. I'm going to go fall in love like my hearts never been broken. I'm going to train with Matt like every session is my last before the big show and reach my fitness goals. Mostly, I'm going to be happy just knowing that whatever the goal, I can.


  1. I love you!!! You're a fighter and a good writer (I wasn't trying to rhyme, it just happened!!). Many big hugs to you :)

  2. Wow! I agree with Jamie. You are a good writer. You are right too, happy human circumstances are never as rewarding as inching forward through adversity. They don't make movies about the boring lives of angels. They make them about scrappy little horses like Seabiscuit who didn't have a hope and won anyway. Won big, actually.